Long and bloody winding road

Too much to ask for, somehow? What was he thinking, giving his all for a chance to live a few more years in relative comfort? And I love this one, ‘It’s far too expensive for you, too large anyway.’

Suppose following that logic, the minute I was diagnosed – five years ago – I should have crumbled and turned myself into the cookie-cutter image of the sorry little shuffling old man, on an old man’s little pension, content to live a little in a little social housing flat.

Perhaps I would have had at least some say in which colour PJs or which kind of slippers I wanted to be decked out into for a morning’s window peering into nothingness.

To Hell with that. But then, there will always be repercussions for those not content to fit any old mould any old time.

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Luckily I had kept them..

And onwards and downwards we go..

Still, it would have been nice. I had so many plans for that perfect little slice of paradise. Sound, solid plans too, I might add.

But alas, it wasn’t to be. Never even got to fill up that lovely great walled bookcase. I’d always dreamt of one day perhaps living somewhere where I would have one of those white book cases covering part or even all of a wall.

I used to admire the sight of those huge book-wall-cases so much when I noticed how smart they appeared to me, denoting something of a haven, an oasis for the oddball within.

I remember almost always seeing these bookcases when visiting a wealthy left-wing thinker who usually didn’t even think twice about it. Just a few books right?

Never one to feel entitled to anything at all on this mortal coil, it conveyed such comfort and sanctuary to one such as me..

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The bookcase that never was ..

And then there was my ‘office’ or ‘study’ or dare I say it, ‘den’ ..

Well, at least that last story written before my voluntary gardening leave was written there, finally having come around to installing my cherished Big Mac.

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‘I’ll see you in five years’  –  ‘It’s only six months’ 

 

Time flies when you’re surviving day by day, hour by hour.

 

 

X+X

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One thought on “Long and bloody winding road

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